Art Is My Drug. Baby, I'm Stoned.

So much has me worried right now. Okay, that's not entirely true. Just a few things. Big things, though. I'm worried about my dear friend who is very ill. The updates and information fluctuate between dismal and surprisingly positive, only to dip back down to dread.

I'm worried about my youngest son. He has been so sick this year himself (nowhere near the seriousness of my dear friend), numerous times. The entire family has had this wicked persistent virus and each of us has relapsed at least twice. Alex; three times. He's missed nearly a month of school this spring, alone. And he's still coughing. I won't go into all of the drama that he's been through academically.  It's a lot.  So much so, that he is fighting to pass. Most seniors can basically take the last semester off and just enjoy it. Not Alex.  He's got two weeks to go before he graduates and he's still trying to climb out of a deep hole. I hate that he has to do this. And he's working so hard. Pins and needles here.

I am worried about submitting my novel - today!  I've read, read, re-read and re-re-read it more times than I can count.  It has to be right.  It has to be.  It'll be fine.  It. Will. Be. Fine.  And, by lunchtime, I'll be a novelist... on paper. A copyrighted novelist. I will leave this earth and will have left my mark. Squee!

All of this is taking a toll on my health. I know it has. I tend to let anxiety (the rare time I do experience it) take over. My body despises when I let this happen. It wants to beat me up. It can. I try not to let it.  Yoga Nidra is really helpful, when I remember to do it.  My husband recently told me that I need to relax.

I don't rely on crutches to allay stress.  I garden or clean.

I have been playing with an idea for a sketch for a few months. I even stressed about that!  I finally took out the sketch pad and my Primsmas. I despise looking at a blank page. I feel as if I am being dared. Soon, though, I find my hand gliding my pencil across the page. Chopin keeping me calm and focused. Within an hour I had this:

It's kind of hard to see. A fancy-schmancy sun and moon. I love drawing suns. I kept seeing these two with really big eyes. I envisioned the sun having tiny, yet full lips. I put it away. Then my good friend got very sick again; this time it was critical. I didn't have any way to find out about her condition unless her family gave updates and I certainly didn't want to be a bother and intrude.  

I picked up my sketchbook again. I drew waiting for news. I drew through tears. I drew the stress away. Sounds silly, but that's exactly what I did. They don't call it "art therapy" for nothing, folks. I felt great! Still worried about my friend, but not stressing myself and my body out. I felt like a kid coloring in a coloring book, only this time, the picture was my own and I could go outside the lines if I wanted it. I was having fun!

I found myself dreaming about my sketch. I jotted down what I remembered to the best of my memory. I fought with ideas for the background: all black? No. The background is what I saw in my dream. Dream realized.  I finished it last night.  Have a look:

Between Night & Day

I have to admit, I really like this. I like the colors. I may go back and do some touch-up work, but I think this is one of my best. I guess stress can produce something? I'm already inspired to draw more.  

The next time you're stressed out; work, family, kids... draw something. You can't draw, you say? Pish-posh. Bullshit! Dare yourself. Just do it. Don't think. Put on your favorite music. A good bevvie. Get comfy. You don't need expensive pens, pencils or sketchpads. A good 'ol number two pencil and some printer paper will do. Doodle. Play. I'm telling you, you'll have fun, and you'll feel so much better. Do it; I double-dawg dare you.

Peace.