Art Is My Drug. Baby, I'm Stoned.

So much has me worried right now. Okay, that's not entirely true. Just a few things. Big things, though. I'm worried about my dear friend who is very ill. The updates and information fluctuate between dismal and surprisingly positive, only to dip back down to dread.

I'm worried about my youngest son. He has been so sick this year himself (nowhere near the seriousness of my dear friend), numerous times. The entire family has had this wicked persistent virus and each of us has relapsed at least twice. Alex; three times. He's missed nearly a month of school this spring, alone. And he's still coughing. I won't go into all of the drama that he's been through academically.  It's a lot.  So much so, that he is fighting to pass. Most seniors can basically take the last semester off and just enjoy it. Not Alex.  He's got two weeks to go before he graduates and he's still trying to climb out of a deep hole. I hate that he has to do this. And he's working so hard. Pins and needles here.

I am worried about submitting my novel - today!  I've read, read, re-read and re-re-read it more times than I can count.  It has to be right.  It has to be.  It'll be fine.  It. Will. Be. Fine.  And, by lunchtime, I'll be a novelist... on paper. A copyrighted novelist. I will leave this earth and will have left my mark. Squee!

All of this is taking a toll on my health. I know it has. I tend to let anxiety (the rare time I do experience it) take over. My body despises when I let this happen. It wants to beat me up. It can. I try not to let it.  Yoga Nidra is really helpful, when I remember to do it.  My husband recently told me that I need to relax.

I don't rely on crutches to allay stress.  I garden or clean.

I have been playing with an idea for a sketch for a few months. I even stressed about that!  I finally took out the sketch pad and my Primsmas. I despise looking at a blank page. I feel as if I am being dared. Soon, though, I find my hand gliding my pencil across the page. Chopin keeping me calm and focused. Within an hour I had this:

It's kind of hard to see. A fancy-schmancy sun and moon. I love drawing suns. I kept seeing these two with really big eyes. I envisioned the sun having tiny, yet full lips. I put it away. Then my good friend got very sick again; this time it was critical. I didn't have any way to find out about her condition unless her family gave updates and I certainly didn't want to be a bother and intrude.  

I picked up my sketchbook again. I drew waiting for news. I drew through tears. I drew the stress away. Sounds silly, but that's exactly what I did. They don't call it "art therapy" for nothing, folks. I felt great! Still worried about my friend, but not stressing myself and my body out. I felt like a kid coloring in a coloring book, only this time, the picture was my own and I could go outside the lines if I wanted it. I was having fun!

I found myself dreaming about my sketch. I jotted down what I remembered to the best of my memory. I fought with ideas for the background: all black? No. The background is what I saw in my dream. Dream realized.  I finished it last night.  Have a look:

Between Night & Day

I have to admit, I really like this. I like the colors. I may go back and do some touch-up work, but I think this is one of my best. I guess stress can produce something? I'm already inspired to draw more.  

The next time you're stressed out; work, family, kids... draw something. You can't draw, you say? Pish-posh. Bullshit! Dare yourself. Just do it. Don't think. Put on your favorite music. A good bevvie. Get comfy. You don't need expensive pens, pencils or sketchpads. A good 'ol number two pencil and some printer paper will do. Doodle. Play. I'm telling you, you'll have fun, and you'll feel so much better. Do it; I double-dawg dare you.

Peace.

Making Sunshine

Hi.

I love a quote that I read a long time ago when I joined my very first online art forum; Artpapa.  One of the fellow members always signed off her posts with the signature, "Art Saves."  You know, just like Jesus does?  Well, perhaps not on the same level.  I liked it, and I now say it all the time because for me, it does save .  When I am stressed out, I now find that drawing is one great way to ease my worried mind.   This week has been a doozy;  I lost a dear friend to cancer a few days ago.  I'm not quite myself.

Usually, I am all for a cloudy, rainy day.  Especially Spring rain.  You just can't bottle the aroma.  While I do have my winders open, I find myself still very melancholy.  I think it's the first time I truly wanted the sun to shine.  So, what's a sad girl to do?    Draw some, of course!

Actually, I've been tinkering with an idea for over a year.  For whatever reason, I didn't think it would ever come to fruition.  My cousin in Florida loves suns.  She collects them.  Seems right since she lives minutes from the ocean.  A true sun-goddess.  I have wanted to draw something up for her collection, but just couldn't get it right.  I knew what I wanted to do, but I kept messing it up.  I love the sun/moon face.  I tried over and over but hated what I came up with.  I've drawn portraits in the past.  When I draw a face, I'm pretty anal about it looking picture (or as close to) perfect as I can get.

This morning I told myself that I needed to cheer up.  My friend up there would hate that I'm so sad.  So, I put on some Chopin, made another cup of coffee and got my big sketchpad out.  Before I knew it, my coffee was cold and I had something on paper!  I liked where it was going.  I'm usually not one for whimsical drawing. I mean I never do it.  No real reason why.  Hell, I like it! I just don't do it.

 This was FUN!   I did have to tell myself to stop being such a perfectionist.  Lines were not perfect.  Mistakes were made.  Parts uneven.  Still, I really liked it and told myself (I talk to myself quite a lot) that I'd be doing a lot more stuff like this in the near future!

An untouched moon lets the sun shine.

  Yes, there definitely things I wish I had done, and certainly things I wish I had not done.  Still, I kinda like it.  I chose not to put a face on the moon.  I wanted the sun to shine.  I do wish I had colored the eyes green.  I keep seeing my cousin Karen, here.  Is it just me?

So at the end of the day, I've done a cute drawing.  One that I'm kind of proud of.  I even added color.  The sun is shining.  And looking outside, it truly is, now.  Whaddya know;  art really does save.

Keep drawing!